Of all the things that hurt going through a separation/divorce, the emotional battles, the financial strain, the lack of sleep and constant worries, the wondering if this was the right thing to do, the biggest thing I have had to battle and that has caused me the most pain is loneliness.
If you are one of those people who likes to be alone then divorce was made for you. One of the biggest things you get out of it is alone time. I on the other hand hate to be alone. I like having company, the sound of someone else in the house. If it was not for my dog Charlie I think I would have lost my mind by now.
It has almost been a year now that I have been on my own and I still just can't get use to the idea of not having my kids in my house every night. It is still painful but not nearly as bad as it was a year ago. I have felt emotional pain before, being dumped when you are dating someone, the lose of parents passing away, but nothing compared to the emotion trauma of not being with my kids. I am confident that it has left a scare that will never fully heal. I will never be able to recapture the time I have missed not being with them every night.
Out of all the things lost with the separation/divorces I have gotten over the loss of income, saving, the house, some friends, even the hurtful things said by my "X" I have gotten over but I have never gotten over not having my kids around all the time.
I try and make the most of the time I do have with them, and make sure they know I love them and miss them.
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