When does your responsibility to your "x" end, if ever.

Hello

So at what point does the welfare of my X no longer effect me or my life? Or, because she is the mother of my children does this go on forever.

I guess I am just frustrated because she didn't want to be with me but when things get difficult I am the one she calls.  I give advice about moving on with her life and not living for the kids but she doesn't listen to me.  She never listens to any of my advice and then calls and wonders why things go wrong.

the kids worry about her and I have to go investigate what is wrong to calm them down and reasurre them that everything is fine.

it is just frustrating and all I am doing is venting.

Hello

I am always struggling with the time I lost with the kids.  I missed so much of their high school years. Time that I should have been there helping them grow and understand life.  Teaching them social skill and being there for the good times and the bad.  As they struggled through school I had to hear about things second hand or days after they occurred.  I missed hearing about first girlfriends/boyfriends, seeing them off on dates, being there to comfort after a hard day.

The cost of divorce in financial terms is tough, but money can be made up, time missed with kids can never be made up.  I am not suggesting at any point that if the marriage would have continued it would have been better, i am confident it would have been even harder on the kids.  what I am saying is before having kids I should have found someone more compatible with me.

I desperately try and make up ground now, but as the kids are older and off at school it beomes even more difficult because I see them less and less and having heart to heart talks are tough over the phone.

I do take great pride in the small victories, when I do geth through to them and coach them in the right direction.

I know it is hard on them as well, splitting times between to homes, not having one place to go to with all their stuff.  constantly packing up and unpacking.

I wonder sometimes what long term effect this will have on them, will they ever be able to settle down and relax in one place or will they always feel like they have to move.