Happy New Year

Hello All

The beginning of a new year gives us a chance to reflect.  This is my second new year being separated.  Last year at this time I was unemployed, recently separated and missing my kids incredibly as I sat in my mostly empty house.  I had no job prospects and the money was starting to run out.  I continued to pay child support with money I didn't have but I didn't want the kids to suffer. Oh and I was feeling very lonely

This year, I have a job,  I am slowly filling up the house, I have the kids this New Years eve,  I have "head hunters" calling me offer potential jobs,  I have got a new to me car.  I am no longer lonely, I have reconnected with my children and I have also reconnected with some friends as well.  

Things have turned around.  It is true that you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb up,  I hit rock bottom back in February 2010,  I will tell you about it in another post in the new year.  I am proud that I have managed to climb my way back, it was not easy, I have stuck to a few principles I felt were important and they have paid off.  I have adjusted to the new reality of being separated.

I know that I am on the right path but I still have a long way to go,  this is a marathon not a sprint.  I have goals set out and I am working on a plan to achieve them.


To anyone out there that is going through separation/divorce and you are wondering if you can make it...the answer is YES.  Hold true to what you believe is right,  getting out of a negative relationship takes time to recover from.  Don't fall back into bad habits,  avoid getting into a relationship with someone who is like your "X".  I almost did it, and I look back now it would have been a disaster.  Believe in yourself and things will turn around for you.

Just because things look dark today does not mean they will tomorrow.  Change is the one constant in the Universe

Happy New Year All.

It is just not fair

Sometimes it is just not fair.

I know I have stated this before but it needs repeating. 

It does not pay to be the primary "bread winner" when it comes to separation/divorce.  The law does not discriminate between males and females which is great, but it does discriminate against people who have worked hard and make more money.  The system definitely favours the lazy.

I work hard so that she gets to spend more time with my kids.  I work all summer so she can have summer off.  Why am I punished,  because I get up early,  have to travel further to make a decent living.  My reward for making more money?, I get the joy of paying   my X even more and I get even less time with the kids because I have to work.

It is ironic that someone who said that she no longer wanted to be with me still needs me to survive financially.  She wants to be a Single Parent.....but still wants the financial security that I provide.

I have worked hard all my life and provided for my family, but now all I get to do is pay and pay.

It has been a year since my separation, I have lost so much time with my kids over the past year.  Time that can never be replaced.

Am I bitter,  yes,  but how can someone not be bitter when they have lost time with their kids.