I was sure I met the woman I was meant to be with. I was married at the time with two young kids, things were bad at home. I was lonely and unhappy. A chance meeting on the train commute home and I was sure I had found the woman I was meant to be with. She made me laugh, was nice to me, We talked/emailed/texted endlessly, the sexual tension was incredible. We wanted to be together, our desire to be with each other lead to the end of our marriages. It was not an easy ending, lots of pain, struggles and difficult times.
But finally we were both free, we could be together finally.
Then reality kicked in, the excitement of sneaking around and forbidden love was gone. She realized first that she didn't want to be with me, I was not what she was looking for, and I realized the same soon after. Now, after a whirl wind affair, and the destruction of our marriages we are barely friends, maybe twice a year running into each other. What ever we once had is gone. yet the damage that was done, the issues with kids, the financial devastation will remain forever.
Do I regret the end of my marriage?,...no. Do I have great regrets on how it ended, the pain and the lies and deceit.......definitely.
Mainly I am more disappointed in myself that at the time I thought could simply walk out of one relationship into another and everything and everyone would be okay with it. Some would say "love is blind", in this case Love was Stupid.
Relationships, especially ones involving kids are not like getting a new car. you can't just drop off an old spouses and drive out with a new one the same day.
For those of you reading this, who are going through the same thing thinking,..."oh my situation is different, we really love each other"..... your wrong.
until next time.
