You can't rush the healing

Hello All

One thing I have learned over the past year and few months being separated is that you can't rush the healing process. 

Lots of people when they are newly separated want to rush getting their lives back to what it once was.  My advice is don't.  Don't rush into dating, definitely don't rush into another relationship. Don't rush to buy items or new house or new car right away.  You have to settle into the new reality that is your life.  You have to give it time.  When I say time, it is not measured in days, or weeks, or months....it is measured in Years.

The temptation is to jump out there and show everyone that you are fine,...that you are happy, that the separation was the best thing to happen to you,..that you are reborn.  What ever you want to call it, it is just over compensating and eventually reality will kick in.  You are much better off to admit to friends that it is challenging being on your own, there are good points and bad.  That you are slowly adjusting to the new reality that is your life.  In the long run this is the better route to take, and your friends will respect you more for being honest with them, and more importantly honest with yourself. 

The biggest thing is don't get into a relationship with someone right away.  I tried, I thought that it was what I wanted, I was disappointed when it didn't work out.  But now, I am so thankful it didn't, it would have ended up as a disaster for sure.  So many people do it, and I can't really blame them because being lonely is a terrible thing, and makes you do stupid things.  You don't need to prove to other people that you are a good person by being able to get into another relationship right away.

As time passes you will notice that there are days that you are truly happy,  that you will have a smile on your face because you feel good.  An honest smile that is not forced to prove to people you are happy.  A feeling of internal joy that radiates out and it is because you realized you have made it.  You have taken on the challenges of being single(again) and although you probably stumbled a few times you have gotten your act together and it is all working out.

When this happens, and it will, don't be afraid to pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for making this far.  There is still plenty to go through, but the worst is definitely over

Have a good weekend everyone.