Something Missing

Hello all

I am on my own, I have a house and the kids this weekend, the sound of them laughing and their voices brings my house to life yet there is still something missing. I miss having some to share it with. When the kids say or do something funny I miss having someone to laugh with. It feels so incomplete. For all the issues me and my x-wife had we always agreed on the kids, we always enjoyed them and being with them and I know that they enjoyed us. I will never understand how we couldn't build on the love of our kids to save the relationship.

I am not saying it was all her fault, or all my fault. I look back now and I think we both stopped communicating. Also we stopped doing stuff together. We did everything with the kids when we should have taken more time to go out ourselves. We made so much time available for the kids and not for us. No....I am not blaming the kids either, I am blaming us for not seeing it. The other thing we had working against us is neither one of us has any real family to speak of. We never had any guidance from a parent when we were having issues. The kids never had grandparents we could drop them off at for a weekend. Everything was kids work and house.

We were so busy with everything else we stopped making each other feel special. So about 5 years ago when someone came into her life that made her feel Special can you blame her for wanting to be with that person.....no. And last year someone came into my life that did the same thing and I reacted the same way as my x-wife did. We both fell for an outside person that made us feel good. All because we didn't take the time to make each other feel special. Now we have all lost, especially the kids.

I am disappointed that we didn't see the affairs for what they were, we should have taken a step back and realized that we both need to work on us, and that it was going to take time. We should have left on a long over due vacation. We should have taken advantage of friends and what little family we have to get away, and focus on what was important. Saving the family, saving the relationship that to that point had been good but like any relationship had some bumps.

Anyway, time to wake up the kids and get on with the weekend, I am happy to have them, but like I said it really does not feel complete. I miss what use to be....and especially what could have been if we had only been a little smarter about it.


David